When I first moved from Orange County, California to Naples, Italy this past winter, I had a total of one friend in Naples- the man I moved here to be with. I had bought a one way ticket to Italy with visions of a grand new life, and realized that I found myself isolated in a chaotic city where I didn’t speak the language and I had virtually no social life. Heck, I couldn’t even get my boyfriend’s dog to go on a walk with me. Yep, it was bad.
Fast forward to 9 months later, it is September and Naples is now the city where I have the biggest social circle! I still deeply miss my friends back home, true friendships are irreplaceable and take time to develop, but I am significantly less lonely now than I was before. Without further ado, here is my recipe to help you cook up some international friendships!
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1. Sign up for an intensive group language course
My Italian school has played a huge role in helping me make friends. Besides the obvious benefit of learning the language so that I can actually communicate with people, my language school has provided me with plenty of friends! An intensive group course is special because you get to see the same faces for several hours each day, so that you can get to know people on a deeper level throughout the span of the course. Look for a language school that organizes weekly social outings, as this is a way to meet interesting people outside of your course, who are probably also looking for friends.
2. Embrace language barriers
Learning a new language takes time, but don't let it stop you from trying to communicate. If you don't know some words, that's ok- you have a dazzling smile and an arsenal of expressive hand gestures! It's like a game of Pictionary on steroids. You can also download Google Translate to have the language of your choice available offline, so that you can refer to it in a pinch. When you're out and about, try speaking the local language, even if you sound like a 2 yr old learning how to talk. Locals appreciate the effort, and laughter is a universal language.
3. Attend local events
Every place has its share of pop up local events. For example in Naples, there's Carnival, the Vomero Chocolate Festival, the historical center Wine Festival, etc. Show up and dive right in. You may meet some friendly faces, or at least have a fun story to share after.
4. Use the internet
I am actually surprised by the amount of friends I've made through social media. I'm not saying meet up with everyone who slides through your DMs, but if you happen to connect with a cool person who seems normal, consider meeting them for a coffee and stroll in a public place in the daytime, to see if you guys vibe. I actually get more nervous and excited for coffee dates with potential new gal pals than I ever was when I was single and going on dates with men.
You can also check out Facebook expat groups and utilise apps like Bumble BFF to meet people.
5. Viator Activites
Pasta making classes, pizza workshops, yoga classes, farm tours... there is a huge variety of fun and interesting experiences which you can book through Viator. Give it a gander!
6. Set goals and monitor your progress
One of my goals this summer was to grow my social circle and deepen my new friendships. To do this, I wrote down in my journal that I would hang out one on one with a gal pal or group of gals at least once a week, without my boyfriend present. Initially I thought it would be difficult, but my social calendar has actually been very full and I've been having a hard time managing to see everyone that I would like to see.
7. That's amore!
Play the field, fall in love, befriend your partner's friends' partners!
In conclusion, making friends in a different country can feel really challenging at times, but with an open attitude, a curiosity of others, and a willingness to embrace new cultures, you'll find yourself surrounded by a diverse group of friends in no time. Keep it up!
XO,
Amby
IG/ TikTok/ YouTube: @ambymathur